Maybe the natural state of things is clarity. If we are not clear, then perhaps we have jumped ahead too many steps and need to return to the last one in which we had clarity; start from there. This may require us to go back so far that our memory is stretched beyond recognition. Who is that girl? How is it that she became the woman she is today? Maybe it is her present day self that is unrecognizable, molded and morphed to flow with the world she thought was the real one. Perhaps the clarity is still with the young girl I left behind so many steps ago.
The week has wrung me dry, but only I might notice this. Somewhere, is a voice calling to me to walk in the forest. I want to be there, the cool forest on a hot day, providing a space where I can be the Me I thought I lost. But that forest is thousands of miles away. Today I will work with the forest that I have, which is lovely and beautiful in its own way, and as I go, perhaps I can catch slips of that girl in a patch of light, or a quiet shadow or wise tree. Maybe it will be enough to put together something that may not match exactly, but may at least be clear. I can start from there.